�躶f it ain't broke ... The Unwritten Laws of Life�� by Hugh Rawson 1997 Hugh Rawson collects many quotations and edits them into dictionaries. E.g. Dictionary of Euphemisms and Other Doubletalk (1981), The New International Dictionary of Quotations (1986), A Dictionary of Quotations from the Bible (1988) etc. and etc. Of course, these quotations are wisdom distilled from many many observations in the daily life of generations upon generations of real people (or had been put into the mouth of fictitious people). Authors like to call them 'Unwritten Laws of Life'. Such a title attracts readers because we hate written laws and love going after secret things. So, in 1997, Rawson published Unwritten Laws: The Unofficial Rules of Life as Handed down by Murphy and other Sages and this little dictionary If it ain't broke ... THE UNWRITTEN LAWS OF LIFE.
This webpage lifts the 'laws' and their corollaries from the dictionary (of course, Rawson's permission has not yet been sought). There are more than 500 of them! I don't expect you to read them all in one go. Browse whatever that fancies you. If you are interested, go to the public libraries and borrow this book, which contains the background and sources of nearly all of the rules (because some of them are not traceable). To be specific, I borrowed this book from the public library in Tin Shui Wai. Enjoy them.

P.S. I have sprinkled some Chinese quotations around. If you could grace me with Chinese equivalent of the other quotations, I would be much grateful.

Yours in the Risen Lord
Alex Kwok
January 1, 2007

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W XYZ

Acton's Law: Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. (Sir John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton 5 April, 1887)
Addison's Law: The woman that deliberates is lost. (Cato Joseph Addison 1713)
Ade's Law: Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. (Fables in Slang George Ade 1899)
Aesop's Adages (620-560 B.C.) Aiken's Solution: Claim victory and retreat. (George Aiken 19 Oct., 1966)
Algren's Laws: Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you. (Nelson Algren 1909-1981)
Alinsky's Law: Those who are most moral are furtherst from the problem. (Rules for Radicals Saul David Alinsky 1971)
Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of. (Agnes Rogers Allen 1978)
Allen's Observation: 80% of success is showing up. ([Woody] Allen Stewart Konigsberg)
Anderson's Law: You can make a killing in the theatre, but not a living. (Robert Anderson 1954)
Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Archilochus' Distinction: The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. (Archilochus 7 B.C.)
Archimededes' 3rd Principle: When a body is immersed in water, the telephone will ring. (Maureen Kim Sing in May 1991)
Aristotle's Observation: The whole is greater than the sum of the parts (Metaphysics 4 B.C.)
Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
  1. If it should exist, it doesn't.
  2. If it does exist, it's out-of-date.
  3. Only useless documentation transscends the first two laws. (Internet 8 Jan., 1996)
Asimov's 3 Rules of Robotics:
  1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws. (I, Robot 1950)
Aspin's Axiom: If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it. (Les Aspin 9 Dec., 1982)
Astor's Axiom: All women marry beneath them. (Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor 1951)
Augustine's Law to End All Laws: Necessity knows no law. (St. Augustine 354-430)
Austen's First Law: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. (Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen 1813)
Austen's Second Law: If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are sure to get out of it. (Persuasion Jane Austen 1818).

Bacon's Law: Money is like muck, not good except it be spread. (Of Seditions and Troubles Francis Bacon 1625)
Bacon's other memorable statements: Bailey's Rule: Threats without power are like powder without ball. (Universal Etymological English Dictionary Nathaniel Bailey 1721)
Baker's Law of Inanimation: Inanimate objects are scientifically classified into three major categories --- those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost. (Russell Baker 1968)
Baker's Law of Progress:
  1. Progress is what people who are planning to do something really terrible almost always justify themselves on the grounds of.
  2. Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. (Poor Russell's Almanac1972)
Baker's Rules of the Road:
  1. The people who are already hankering for some golden yesteryear the loudest usually drive the newest cars.
  2. There are no liberals behind steering wheels.
Baker's Secrets of Happiness:
  1. Happiness is when a wire has become disconnected under the dashboard and the motor is hissing and you go to a garage and the repairman says you have a 'vacuum leak', and you ask how much it will cost to fix and he says, "A dollar and seventy-five cents."
  2. One snow in a winter is happiness. Two snows are too many. Three snows are a penance visited upon cities that are unjust. Wise is the man who goes to the Yucatan after the first snow for he shall escape the ravages of dipsomania, self-pity, and misanthropy, and his shoes shall not be ruined.
Barnum's Law: There's a sucker born every minute. (Phineas Taylor Barum 19th century)
Bayly's Observation: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. å°誩ê̌�脲鰵å©�(Isle of Beauty Thomas Haynes Bayly 1850)
(Setus Propertius 'Semper in absentes felicior aestus amantes.')
Beaumarchais' Law: To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness. (The Marriage of Figaro Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais 1778)
Beaumont and Fletcher's Law: Beggars must be no choosers. 飢���(The Scornful Lady Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher 1609)
Beckner Effect: The common name in the bond market for the thunderous perturbations that frequently follow news flashes from Steve Beckner, in the Washington office of Market News Service. (Michael Lewis 1 Oct., 1995)
Beer's Law: Absolutum obsoletum --- if it works it's out-of-date. (Brain of the Firm Stafford Beer 1972)
Beerbohm's 1st Law: Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth. (Mainly on the Air Sir Max Beerbohm 1946)
Beerbohm's 2nd Law: Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests. (And Even Now 1920)
Behn's Law: Here today, gone tomorrow. �肽����¯å¤«�鞱�èªÞÍ�å­鞟���(Matthew 6:30; The Lucky Chance Mrs. Aphra Behn 1687)
Belli's Law: There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. (Melvin Belli 18 Dec., 1981)
Bentham's Law: The greatest happiness of the greatest number is the foundation of morals and legislation. (Commonplace Book Jeremy Bentham 1832)
(Jeremy) Bernstein's First Law: All tests measure something. (Jeremy Bernstein 1995)
(Theodore) Bernstein's First Law: A falling body always rolls to the most inaccessible spot. (The Careful Writer Theodore Bernstein 1965)
(Theodore) Bernstein's Second Law: Bad words tend to drive out good ones, and when they do, the good ones never appreciate in value, sometimes maintain their value, but most often lose in value, whereas the bad words may remain bad or get better. (Ibid)
Berra's Law: The game isn't over until it's over. (Lawrence Peter 'Yogi' Berra 1973)
Bevan's Law: We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. (Aneurin Bevan 9 Dec., 1953)
Bierce's Law: Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves and good fortune to others. (The Devil's Dictionary Ambrose Bierce 1911) Billing's First Law: The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. (The Kicker Josh Billings 1870)
Billing's Second Law: It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. (Encycolpedia of Wit and Wisdom 1874)
Billing's Third Law: As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of demand. (Affurisms 1865)
Blundell's Law: All books over five hundred pages that weren't written by Dickens or a dead Russian are better left on the shelf. (The Art and Craft of Feature Writing William E. Blundell 1988)
Bogart's Rule: When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. (The Story of the Sun Frank M. O'Brien 1918. John B. bogart was city editor of the New York Sun)
Bohr's Law: The crazier the theory, the more likely it is to be correct. (Niels Bohr 1958)
Boren's Guidelines for Bureaucrats: When in charge, ponder; when in trouble, delegate; when in doubt, mumble. (NATAPROBU James Boren 1970)
Bouchier's Columbus Principle: Any new activity will cause more trouble than you can possibly imagine. (David Bouchier 14 Oct., 1996 Columbus Day [2nd Monday in October])
Brandeis' Law: Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for the law. (Olmstead v. United States Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis 1928)
Brecht's Law: Eats first, morals after. (The Threepenny Opera Bertolt Brecht 1928)
Bronfman's Law of Accumulation: To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable. (Edgar Bronfman 2 Dec., 1985)
Brook's Law: If you've got it, flaunt it. (The Producers Melvin Kaminsky 1968)
Browning's Observation: Less is more. (Andrea del Sarto Robert Browning 1855)
Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. (Fred Bucy in Malice in Blunderland by Thomas L. Martin Jr. 1973)
Burke's Law: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.��®¶�ªæ����漤䪸����� (Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents Edmund Burke 23 April 1770)
Burn's Law of Social Change: It usually takes about a century or three generations after a far-reaching social change, for a people to drop habits that are no longer really relevant. (A Traveller's History of Greece A. R. Burn 1965)
Burn's Law: the best-laid schemes o'mice an' men gang aft agley. (To a Mouse Robert Burn 1785)
Burton's Rule: No rule is so general, which admits not some exceptions. (The Anatomy of Melancholy Rev. Robert Burton 1621)
Butler's Observation: An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. (Nicholas Murray Butler 1901-1945)
Butler's Law: Spare the rod and spoil the child.æ£㘾��ºå�å­� (Hudibras Samuel Butler 1663)
Byron's Law: Truth is stranger than fiction. (Don Juan George Noel Gordon Byron 1823)

Caesar's Law: Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.
Caesar's Maxims: Cameron's Rule of Etiquette: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. 禮å�å¾�ä¾�(Simon Cameron, Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of War 1861-1862)
Campbell's Law: It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you don't do it in public and frighten the horses. (Mrs. Patrick Campbell 1865-1940)
Camus' Regretful Conclusion: Alas, after a certain age, every man is responsible for his own face. (The Fall Albert Camus 1965)
Cannon's Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. (Internet) Rawson went on to advise students not to tell the teacher that they had to attend the funeral of a greatly beloved aunt.
Capone's Law: You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone. (attributed to Al Capone by Walter Heller)
Carlyle's First Law: The general law of culture is: Let each become all that he was created capable of being. (Edinburgh Review Thomas Carlyle 1827)
Carlyle's Second Law: "Do the duty which lies nearest thee." which thou knowest to be a duty! The second duty will already have become clearer. (Sartor Resartus Thomas Carlyle 1834)
Carlson's Corollary: Never go into a danger area unless it's your duty. Never hesitate if it is.�¨é𧙗æ¯贝��� (Lieutenant Colonel Evans Fordyce Carlson 1945)
Carothers' Insight: Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. It cuts off all the oxygen to his brain. (The Secret of My Success A.J.Carothers 1987)
Catt's Law: No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion. (Carrie Lane Chapman Catt 13 Feb., 1900)
Cavett's Law: As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. (Dick Cavertt 1971)
Cayo's Law: The only things that start on time are those that you're late for. (Internet 8 Jan., 1996)
Cervantes' Law of Statistics: By a small sample we may judge of the whole piece. (Don Quixote Miguel de Cervantes 1615)
Cervantes' Saying: Diligence is the mother of good fortune. (Don Quixote Part IV Miguel de Cervantes 1615)
Chandler's Law: You can't win them all. (The Long Goodbye Raymond Chandler 1954)
Chaucer's First Law: Time heals all wounds. (Troilus and Criseyde Geoffrey Chaucer 1385)
Chaucer's Second Law: Love is blind. (The Merchant's Tale 1387)
Chaucer's Third Law: Murder will out. (the Prioress' Tale 1387)
Cheops' Law: No project was ever completed on time and within budget. (Internet)
Cheshire's Law of the Social Jungle: Everything that goes up must come down. (Maxine Cheshire 28 Feb., 1969)
Chisholm's First Law of Human Interaction: If anything can go wrong, it will.
Corollary: If anything just can't go wrong, it will anyway.
Chisholm's Second Law of Human Interaction: When things are going well, something will go wrong.
First Corollary: When things just can't get any worse, they will.
First Corollary: Anytime things appears to be going better, you have overlooked something.
Chisholm's Third Law of Human Interaction: Purposes, as understood by the purposer, will be misunderstood by others.
First Corollary: If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
Second Corollary: If you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's approval, somebody won't like it.
Third Corollary: Procedures devised to implement the purpose won't quite work. (Francis P. Chisholm 1963)
Cicero's Laws for Historians:
  1. The historian shall never dare to set down what is false.
  2. He shall never dare to conceal the truth.
  3. There shall be no suspicion in his work of either favouritism or prejudice. (De Oratore Marcus Tullius Cicero 55 B.C.)
Many of his thoughts are of continuing relevance. Clarke's Laws:
  1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
  2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
  3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguished from magic. (Profiles of the Future Arthur C. Clarke 1962)
Clausewitz's Law: War is nothing more than the continuation of politics by other means. (On War Karl von Clausewitz 1833)
Zhou Enlai's Amendment: All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. (Edgar Snow 27 March 1954)
Cleaver's Law: You're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem. (Eldridge Cleaver [The Black Panther Party] 1968)
Clinton's Laws of Politics:
  1. Always be introduced by someone you've appointed to high office.
  2. When you're starting to have a good time, you're supposed to be someplace else.
  3. There is no such thing as enough money.
  4. If someone tells you it's not a money problem, it's someone else's problem.
  5. When someone tells you it's not personal, they're fixing to stick it to you.
  6. Nearly everyone will lie to you given the right circumstance.(Bill Clinton 17 Sept., 1992)
Cohen's Rules of Book Publishing:
  1. There is only one thing worse than losing an auction for a book --- and that is winning it.
  2. It is nearly always more profitable to leave your money in the bank than to venture inot trade book publishing [i.e. fiction and nonfiction for general readers as opposed to textbooks, reference books, and so on], where a profit margin of even 5% is elusive.
  3. No two people will agree on anything, even where to have lunch. (Roger Cohen 2 Sept., 1991)
Coleridge's Law of Moral Polarity: When the maximum of one tendency has been attained, there is no gradual decrease, but a direct transition to its minimum, till the opposite tendency has attained its maximum. (Table Talk Samuel Taylor Coleridge 25 April 1832)
Colson's Law: If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. (Charles T. Colson, special counsel to President Richard Nixon)
Comins' Law: People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. (David H. Comins 1974)
Confucius' Law: Don't do to others what you would not wish done to yourself. å·±æ�ä¸齿¬²ï¼�嚉�½æ䲰人ã���鞱�èªÞÍ�è¡偦��¬ã��(Analects)
Congreve's Conclusion: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. (The Mourning Bride William Congreve 1697)
Connolly's Observation: Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising. (Enemies of Promise Cyril Connolly 1938)
Conran's Law of Cooking: Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. (Superwoman Shirley Conran 1975)
Conran's Law of Housework: It [housework] expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished. (Superwoman 2 1977)
Cop's Law: It's better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six. (Natalie Chapman 20 Feb., 1990)
The Copernican Principle: Earth and earthlings are not at the centre of the universe. (De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium Nicolaus Copernicus 1543)
Cornuel's Observation: No man is a hero to his valet. (Madame Anne Bigot du Cornuel 1605-1695)
Costello's Conclusion: There are more horses' asses in this world than there are horses (David F. Costello 1983)
Creasey's Law: Never buy an editor or publisher a lunch or a drink until he has bought an article, story, or book from you. This rule is absolute and may be broken only at your peril. (John Creasey 1908-1973)
Crosby's Law of Advertising: The first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise ... and cultivate the delightfully vague. (John Crosby 18 Aug., 1947)
Crystal's Law of Executive Pay: The smaller the company, the less a chief executive's compensation is related to the company's performance or size. (Graef S. Crystal 1994)

Dante's Law: The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality. (John F. Kennedy 24 June, 1963)
Dante's Observation: He listens well who takes notes [Bene ascolta chi la nota] (Canto XV The Inferno Dante Alighieri 1321)
(Charles) Darwin's Law: This preservation of favourable individual differences and variations, and the destruction of those that are injurious, I have called Natural Selection, or the Survival of the Fittest. (The Origin of Species Charles Darwin 1859)
(Francis) Darwin's Law: In science, the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea occurs. (Eugenics Review Francis Darwin 1914)
Data's Law: All things which can occur, do occur! (Lieutenant Commander Data Star Trek, the Next Generation 1987)
David's Qwerty Factor: The product that sets a de facto standard will dominiate the marketplace whether or not it is the best one technologically. (Clio and the Economics of Qwerty Paul A. David 1985)
Davis' Commandment: The first and great commandment is, Don't let them scare you. (But We Were Born Free Elmer Davis 1954)
DeCaprio's Law: Everything takes more time and money. (Annie DeCaprio 1974)
Decatur's Law: My country, right or wrong. (Commodore Stephen Decatur 20 April 1816)
Deighton's Law: You can't make women happy. That's a kind of fundamental law of the universe. You try and make them happy and they'll never forgive you for revealing to them that they can't be. (Spy Story Len Deighton 1985)
The Rules
  1. The Female always makes the Rules.
  2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
  3. No male can possibly know all the Rules.
  4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of the Rules.
  5. The Female is Never wrong.
  6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was the result of something the Male did or said wrong.
  7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
  8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
  9. The Male must never change his mind without written consent from the Female.
  10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
  11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
  12. The Female must under NO CIRCUMSTANCES let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or unpset.
  13. Any attempt to document these Rules could result in bodily harm.
  14. If the Female has PMS, all Rules are null and void. (The Taft School, in Watertown, Connecticut 1990)
Delmas' Unwritten Law: The right of any red-blooded male to kill anyone who fools around with his wife, daughter, mistress, or other female near and dear, and then to escape punishment by pleading temporary insanity --- a right rarely extended to women in analogous circumstances. Obsolete? (Delphin Delmas 1907)
Dershowitz's Rules: I have three rules. I never believe what the prosecutor or police say. I never believe what the media say, and I never believe what my client say. (Alan M. Dershowitz 28 Oct., 1994)
Decartes' Dictum: I think, therefore I am. ([Cogito, ergo sum.] Discourse on Method Rene Descartes 1637)
Dewdney's Law of Zero Return: Return on investment equals loss due to inflation plus taxes ... which equals zero. (A.K. Dewdney 1990)
Dickinson's Extrapolation: Luck is not chance. It's toil. Fortune's expensive smile is earned. (Poem #1350 Emily Dickinson 1876)
Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics:
  1. Get elected.
  2. Get re-elected.
  3. Don't get mad, get even. (Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen 1957-1969)
Disraeli's First Law: Never complain and never explain. (Benjamin Disraeli 1903)
Disraeli's Second Law: What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens. (Henrietta Temple 1837)
Time is the great physician. (Ibid)
Justice is truth in action. (11 Feb., 1851)
Finality is not the language of politics. (28 Feb., 1859)
Never take anything for granted. (5 Oct., 1864)
Change is inevitable. In a progressive country, change is constant. (29 Oct., 1867)
There can be no economy where there is no efficiency. (3 Oct., 1868)
Every woman should marry --- and no man. (Lothair 1870)
The secret of success is constancy of purpose. (24 June 1872)
The Dixon Effect: If you make enough predictions, a few are bound to be correct. The hits are likely to be remembered, the misses forgotten, and you will win fame and possibly fortune as a forecaster of the future. (Jeanne Pinckert Dixon 1918-1997)
Drazen's Law of Restitution: The time it takes to rectify a situation is inversely proportional to the time it took to do the damage. (A Writer's Companion Louis D. Rubin Jr. ed., 1995)
Duggan's Law of Scholarly Research: The most valuable quotation will be the one for which you cannot determine the source.
Dumas' Law: Nothing succeeds like success. (Ange Pitou Alexandre Dumas 1854)
Durocher's Law: Nice guys finish last. (Leo Durocher 5 July 1946)

Eban's Law: History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. (Abba Eban 16 Dec., 1970)
Eddington's Theory: The number of different hypotheses erected to explain a given biological phenomenon is inversely proportional to available knowledge. (The Complete Murphy's Law Arthur Block 1991)
Eliot's Observation: Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal. (Philip Massinger T.S. Eliot 1920)
Emerson's First Law: A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. (Self-Reliance Ralph Waldo Emerson 1841)
Emerson's Second Law: If a man write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mousetrap than his neighbour, tho' he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. (The Sage of Concord 1855)
Emerson's Third Law: The efforts which we make to escape our destiny only serve to lead us to it. (The Conduct of Life 1860)
Erasmus' Law: The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. å¤硋����亮æ糓�梶�(Adages Desiderius Erasmus 1545)
Ettore's Law of Lines: The Other Line moves faster. (Barbara Ettore 1974)
Euripides' First Law: There is no wind that always blow a storm. (Alcetis 438 B.C.)
Euripides' Second Law: In this world second thoughts, it seems, are best. (Hippolytus 428 B.C.)
Euripides' Third Law: The lucky person passes for a genius. (Herakleidae 428 B.C.)

Faber's First Law: If there isn't a law, there will be. (The Book of Laws Timesman Harold Faber 1979)
Faber's Second Law: The number of errors in any piece of writing is directly proportional to the amount of reliance on secondary sources. (Ibid)
Falk's Distinction: Some people in the world are important. All the rest wish they were. (Richard R. Falk 6 Nov., 1971)
Fetridge's Law: Important things that are supposed to happen do not happen, especially when people are looking, or, conversely, things that are supposed to not happen do happen, especially when people are looking. (Claude Fetridge 23 Oct., 1936)
Feuerbach's Law of Consumption: Man is what he eats. (Blatter fur Literarische Unterhaltung Ludwig Feuerbach 12 Nov., 1850)
Finagle's Law: If anything can go wrong with an experiment, it will.
First Corollary: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Second Corollary: Never attempt to replicate a successful experiment.
Other laws: Finnegan's Law: The further away the future is, the better it looks. (Organic Gardening June 1978)
Firestone's Law of Forecasting: Chicken Little only has to be right once. (Internet)
Fitzsimmons' Law: The bigger they come, the harder they fall. (Robert Fitzsimmons, heavyweight boxing champion 1899)
Flintstone's Teachings:
  1. Never underestimate the strength of a child.
  2. Never bet more than you have.
  3. Wealthy oil men drive big cars.
  4. Pets make excellent companions.
  5. Never put super glue in a bowling ball.
  6. It's possible to have pollution-free cars.
  7. Never leave a child unattended.
  8. Household appliances have minds of their own.
  9. Never put too many items on a drive-in tray.
  10. Car pooling can work.
  11. It's a good idea to remember your anniversary.
  12. The little guy can beat the system.
  13. Good stone walls make good neighbours.
  14. Expectant fathers do crazy things.
  15. Friendship is important. (Dimwitted Fred Flintstone of 23 March 1993)
Forbes' Law: Money isn't everything as long as you have enough. (Malcolm S. Forbes in Friendly Advice by Jon Winokur 1991)
Ford's Commandment: Use it or lose it. (Henry Ford 8 Nov., 1931)
Forrester's Laws:
  1. In complicated situations, efforts to improve things often tend to make them worse, sometimes much worse, on occasion calamitous. (Jay W. Forrester 4 June 1971)
  2. In a complex social system, the obvious commonsense solution to a problem will turn out to be wrong most of the time. (10 Oct., 1971)
Franklin's Laws: (Poor Richard's Almanack Benjamin Franklin 1733-1758) Friedman's Law: There's no such thing as a free lunch. (Milton Friedman 1975)
Fuller's Observation: It is always darkest just before the day dawneth. (Pisgah Sight Thomas Fuller 1650)
Fyfe's Laws of Revision:
  1. Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete.
    Corollary: In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way so as to expedite subsequent revision.
  2. The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more necessary it will be for the design to be redrawn.
  3. If, when completion of a design is imminent, field dimensions are finally supplied as they actually are instead of as they were meant to be, it is always simpler to start over again from scratch.
    Corollary: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences --- if you have none, someone will make one for you. (Internet)

Galbraith's First Law: The greater the wealth, the thicker will be the dirt. (The Affluent Society John Kenneth Galbraith 1958)
Galbraith's Second Law: The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women. (Letter to JFK 27 April 1961)
Gelb's Observation: Operations tend to set a lot of policies in concrete. (Leslie Gelb 18 Jan., 1981)
Gell-Mann's Dictum: Whatever isn't forbidden is required.
Corollary: It there's no reason why something shouldn't exist, then it must exist. (Murray Gell-Mann in The Official Rules Paul Dickson 1978)
Gerhardt's Law: If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply --- they're going to stop making it. (1001 Logical Laws John Peers 1980)
Gerrold's Law: A little ignorance can go a long way. (Internet)
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
  1. An object in motion will always be heading in the wrong direction.
  2. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
  3. The energy required to change either one of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible. (David Gerrold 1978)
Gibbon's Law: All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance. (The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Edward Gibbon 27 June 1787)
Gilbert's Law of Appearances: Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream. (W.S. Gilbert 1878)
Goldsmith's Law: Silence gives consent. (The Good-Natur'd Man Oliver Goldsmith 1768)
Gomez's Law: If you don't throw it, they can't hit it. (Yernon 'Lefty' Gomez 1937)
Gordon's Rule of Evolving Bryographic Systems: While bryographic plants are typically encounted in substrata of earthy or mineral matter in concreted state, discrete substrata elements occasionally display a roughly spherical configuration which, in the presence of suitable gravitational and other effects, lends itself to combine translatory and rotational motion. One notices in such cases an absence of the otherwise typical accretion of bryophyta. We therefore conclude that a rolling stone gathers no moss. (A fictitious character 1970s)
Gresham's Law: Bad money drives out good --- meaning that debased or underweight coins will drive good money out of circulation, as people squirrel away the more valuable coins in mattresses and other hiding places. (H.D. Macleod 1857 named it to Sir Thomas Gresham)
Gummidge's Law: The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public. (Dr. Gummidge, professor of sociology at Instant College 30 Dec., 1966)
Example: The student in question is performing minimally for his peer group and is an emerging underachiever.
Gumperson's Law: The contradictory of a welcome probability will assert itself whenever such an eventuality is likely to be most frustrating or, in other words, the outcome of a given desired probability will be inverse to the degres of desirability. (R.F. Gumperson in Changing Times November 1957)
The Law of Inverse Proportion of Social Intercourse: The possibility of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better-looking and richer male friend. (Ronald Beifield Wall Street Journal 2 Feb 1975)
Gunter's Laws of Air Travel: (Edmund Gunter, English Mathematician 1581-1626)
  1. When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
  2. The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee. (Internet)

Haight's Brokerage Law: When the market is stable, it is a good time to buy, but when it is going up, buy quickly to catch the rising tide. When the market is going down, however, it is a good time to buy as it will soon turn up. When it has been going down for some time (crash is a nasty word, not to be used), it must be at the bottom and can only go up, so BUY, BUY, BUY. Bye-bye! (Keith Haight, ex-broker, May 1991)
Haldane's Observation: The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. (Possible Worlds and Other Essays J.B.S. Haldane 1927)
Haldeman's Law: Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's going to be very tough to get it back in. (H.R. 'Bob' Haldeman, 8 April 1973)
The Hart Rule: Anything any politician did with a woman other than his wife prior to May 5, 1987, ought to be allowed to go unrevealed. (Gary Hart 5 May 1987)
The Hawthorne Law: The simple act of studying the performance of workers or students will cause their productivity or test scores to improve. (Hawthorne Works, Western Electric 1924-1936)
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle: The act of measurement affects whatever is being measured so that reality can never be apprehended precisely. (Werner Heisenberg 1927)
Hendrickson's Law: If you have enough meetings over a long enough period of time, the meetings become more important than the problem the meetings were intended to solve. (E.R. Hendrickson in Malice in Blunderland by Thomas L. Martin Jr. 1973)
Hensley's Law: The less teeth the women have, the better the bar. (Charles Kuralt's America Clyde Hensley 1995)
Heraclitus' Law: You can't step twice into the same river, for other waters are ever flowing on to you. (Heraclitus of Ephesus 540-480 B.C.)
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they'll stop making it. (Herbert Lawrence Block 28 Dec., 1977)
Herodotus' Law: Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances. ��𨋍�㰘㘚��(by Artabanus, uncle of Persian King Xerxes in The Histories, Greco-Persian Wars by Herodotus of Halicarnassus 5th century B.C.)
Huston's Corollary: Given the right circumstances, people will do anything. (Chinatown John Huston 1978)
Hippocrates' First Law: For extreme illnesses extreme treatments are most fitting. (Hippocrates 460-380 B.C.)
Hippocrates' Second Law: Life is short, the art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult. ([Vita brevis est, ars longa] Seneca)
Hobson's Choice: No real choice --- that is, Hobson's choice or none. (Thomas Hobson 1544-1631, keeper of an inn and stable in Cambridge, England)
Hoffer's Observation: When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Originality is deliberate and forced, and partakes of the nature of protest. (The Passionate State of Mind Eric Hoffer 1955)
Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law. (Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid Douglas R. Hofstadter 1979)
Holmes' First Law: Eliminate all other factors, and the one that remains will be the truth. (Sherlock Holmes in The Sign of the Four Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 1890)
Holmes' Second Law: It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. (A Scandal in Bohemia 1891)
Hopper's Law: If you do something once, people will call it an accident. If you do it twice, they call it a coincidence. But do it a third time and you've just proven a natural law. (Grace Murray Hopper Mothers of Invention 1989)
Horace's Law: Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled. ä¸�è¨��¢å枂ï¼屸�馬é𧙗è¿�(Book 18 Epistles Quintus Horatius Flaccus 1st century B.C.)
Hoyle's Rule: When in doubt, take the trick. (Hoyle's Games Edmond Hoyle 1746)
Hungerford's Law: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. ��ºº�¼è£¡�ºè¥¿��(Molly Bawn Margaret Wolfe Hungerford 1878)
(Aldous) Huxley's Law: Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held. (Beyond the Mexique Bay Aldous Huxley 1934)
(Julian) Huxley's Law: Sooner or later, false thinking brings wrong conduct. (Essays of a Biologist Julian Huxley 1923)

Imhoff's Law: The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank. The really big chunks always rise to the top. (Malice in Blunderland John Imhoff)
Irving's Acute Observation: A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. (Rip Van Winkle Washington Irving 1819)
Ito's Rules:
  1. Be cautious, careful, and when in doubt, keep your mouth shut.
  2. When tempted to say something, take a deep breath and refer to Rule 1. (Judge Lance A. Ito 23 July 1994)


Jefferson's Ukase: Delay is preferable to error. å°誩�é§𥕦��¬å¹´��(Thomas Jefferson 16 May 1792)
Jo bob's Rule: The meanest and the biggest get to make all the rules. (Jo Bob Williams 1979)
(Byron) Johnson's Laws of Bureaucratic Success:
  1. Never do anything for the first time.
  2. Make only big mistakes --- they will pass unnoticed. (Byron L. Johnson and Robert Ewegen B.S.: The Bureaucractic Syndrome 1982)
(Hiram) Johnson's Law: The first casualty when war comes is truth. (Senator Hiram W. Johnson 1918)
Jones' Law: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. (Thomas Jones 20 Feb., 1975)

Kahn's Law: If you can't explain what you're doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong. (Alfred Kahn 8 May 1978)
Kahn and Egan's Law: The rich get rich and the poor get poorer. å¯諹���å¯䕘�窮è���窮ã��(Matthew 13:12; Ain't We got Fun Gus Kahn & Raymond B. Egan 1921)
Kant's Categorical Imperative: Act only on that maxim which you can at the same time wish that it should become a universal law. (Foundations of the Metaphysics of Morals Emmanuel Kant 1797)
Kautilya's Observation: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (Arthasastra Kautilya 4th century B.C.)
Kelly's Law: Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems. (Farmer's Almanac 1978)
John F. Kennedy's Law: Life is unfair. (23 March 1962)
(John P.) Kennedy's Law: All is fair in love and war. (Horse-Shoe Robinson John Pendleton Kennedy 1835)
(Robert F.) Kennedy's Law: About one-fifth of the people are against everything all the time. (6 May 1964)
Keppner's Law: You never find an article you have lost until you replace it. (Otto Keppner 1974)
Kerr's Law: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible that you haven't understood the situation. (Please Don't Eat the Daisies Ms. Jean Kerr 1957)
Kipling's Law of Blackmail: If once you have paid him the Dane-geld, You never get rid of the Dane. (History of England Rudyard Kipling 1911)
Kipling's Laws of the Jungle: Now these are the Laws of the Jungle, and many and mighty are they; But the head and the hoof of the Law and the haunch and the hump is --- Obey! (The Second Jungle book Rudyard Kipling 1895)
Kirkland's Law: The usefulness of any meeting is inversely proportional to the size of the group. (Lane Kirkland 3 March 1974)
Kissinger's Law: The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. (All About Success Henry A. Kissinger 1988)
Koppett's Law: Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number of people tends to happen. (Leonard Koppett 18 Sept., 1996)
Koppett's Observation: A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true. (A Concise History of Baseball Leonard Koppett 1996)
Kowalski's Dissent: You know what luck is? Luck is believing you're lucky. Take at Salerno. I believed I was lucky. I figured that four out of five would not come through but I would ... and I did. I put that down as a rule. To hold front position in this rat race you've got to believe you are lucky. (Stanley Kowalski, in A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams 1947)
Krauthammer's Tirana Index: The higher the vote any government wins in an election the more tyrannical it is. (Charles Krauthammer 21 June 1993)
Kristol's Law: Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters of life begin when you get what you want. (Irving Kristol 28 Nov., 1977)

La Bruyere's Law: Men fall from great fortune because of the same shortcomings that led to their rise. (Characters of Theophrastus Jean de La Bruyere 1688)
laingren's Law: Human beings are like tea bags. You don't know your own strength until you get into hot water. (Bruce Laingren 26 Aug., 1991)
Lance's Law: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Bert Lance 27 May 1977)
Lansky's Insight: Some people never learn to be good. One quarter of us is good. Three quarters is bad. That's a tough fight, three against one. (Little Man: Meyer Lansky and the Gangster Life Robert Lacy 1991)
Lardner's Law: Two can live cheaper than one. (Big Town Ring Lardner 1921)
La Rochefoucauld's Rule: In the misfortunes of our best friends, we find something that is not displeasing. (Maximes Francois Duc de La Rouchefoucauld 1665)
Lasch's Law: Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success. (The Culture of Narcissism Christopher Lasch 1979)
Lauder's Law: When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money. And the person with the money will get some experience. (Leonard Lauder 1985)
Laver's Law of Fashion: The same costume will be:
Indecent10 years before its time
Shameless5 years before its time
Outre (daring) 1 year before its time
Smart 
Dowdy 1 year after its time
Hideous 10 years after its time
Ridiculous 20 years after its time
Amusing 30 years after its time
Quaint 50 years after its time
Charming 70 years after its time
Romantic 100 years after its time
Beautiful 150 years after its time
Leacock's Tenet: I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. (Stephen Leacock, in Money Talks by Robert W. Kent 1985)
Leopold's First Law: A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability, and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise. (A Sand County Almanac Aldo Leopold 1949)
Leopold's Second Law: The first requisite of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces. (Aldo Leopold 1978)
Liddell Hart's Maxims:
  1. Adjust your end to your means --- in effect, don't bite off more than you can chew.
  2. Keep your objective always in mind, adapting plans to circumstances, remembering that there are more ways than one of gaining an objective, and making sure that attainment of immediate objectives is worthwhile. "To wander down a side-track is bad, but to reach a dead end is worse."
  3. Choose the line (or course) of least expectation, i.e., put yourself in your opponent's shoes and take the line of action that he (or she) is least likely to foresee or forestall.
  4. Exploit the line of least resistance --- providing, of course, that it leads toward your ultimate objective.
  5. Pursue a line of operation that offers alternate objectives. Your opponents will not be sure which objective to defend most strongly and you will have a better chance of gaining at least one of them --- whichever he (or she) guards least --- and perhaps of achieving one after the other.
  6. Make sure that your plans and dispositions of forces are flexible. Any plan should provide for a next step, quickly carried out, in case of success or failure or --- the more common outcome in war --- partial success.
  7. Do not throw your weight into an offensive while your opponent is on guard. Unless the enemy is much inferior in strength, wait until his (or her) power of resistance or evasion is paralyzed by disorganization and demoralization before making a real attack.
  8. Do not renew an attack along the same line, or in the same manner, after it has once failed. Bringing up reinforcement is not enough, since the enemy is likely to do the same and his (or her) success in repulsing you will have strengthened his (or her) morale.
    The essential truth underlying these maxims is that, for success, two major problems must be solved --- dislocation and exploitation. (Strategy Liddell Hart 1967)
Liebling's Law: If you try hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior. (A.J. Liebling 9 Sept., 1968)
Lincoln's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. ('Abe' Lincoln's Yarns and Stories Alexander K. McClure 1904)
The Lindley Rule for Reporting: The reporter must take complete responsibility for whatever he or she writes, without giving any hint of the source of information that has been provided on the basis of 'not for attribution' or as 'deep background'. (Ernest K. Lindley 1968)
Locke's Law: One day you're a peacock, the next day you're a featherduster. (David H. Locke 2 May 1989)
Lombardi's Law: Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. (Vincent Lombardi 1968, Red Sanders 1948)
Longworth's Law: You can't make a souffle rise twice. (Alice Roosevelt Longworth 1948)
Loos' Law: Gentlemen prefer blondes. (Anita Loos 1925)
Lowell's Law: If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of the oncoming train. (Day by Day Robert Lowell 1977)
Lowery's Law: Just when you get really good at something, you don't need it anymore. (William P. Lowery 1974)
Luce's Law: No good deed ever goes unpunished. (Clare Boothe Luce)

Macaulay's Maxim: Nothing is so useless as a general maxim. (Thomas Babington, Lord Macaulay, 1827)
Maddocks' Law of Literature: Novelists with the most damned consciences tend to write the most blessed prose. (Melvin Maddocks 7 June 1971)
De Maistre's Law: Every nation has the government it deserves. (Letter to X Joseph de Maistre 1811)
Malthus' Law: Population, when unchecked, increases in a geometrical ratio. Subsistence increases only in an arithmetical ratio. (An Essay on the Principle of Population Thomas Robert Malthus 1798)
Mane's Law of Computer Enhancement: Rare is the 'improvement' that will ever repay the time lost in performing it. (Stephen Manes 12 April 1994)
Marcy's Law: To the victor belong the spoils. �鞟��堒�(William Learned Marcy 25 Jan., 1832)
Martial's Law: Conceal a flaw, and the world will imagine the worst. (Epigrams 1st century A.D.)
Martin's Law: You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. (Dean Martin)
Marx's First Law: From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. (Critique of the Gotha Program Karl Marx 1875)
Marx's Second Law: Historical events occur twice --- the first time as tragedy, the second as farce. (The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte 1852)
Marx's Third Law: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. (Das Kapital 1867-1883)
The Matthew Effect: The tendency in the scientific community to give all credit for discoveries to the senior members of a team while giving short shrift to junior members for work that they have carried out and sometimes conceived. (Matthew 13:12)
Maugham's Law: You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency. (The Circle W. Somerset Maugham 1921)
McGeary's Law: The more noise a man or a motor makes, the less power there is available. (W.R. McGeary, in All about Success by Peter Potter 1988)
McGovern's Law: The longer the title, the less important the job. (George McGovern 1960)
McGregor's Revised Maxim: The shortest distance between two points is under construction. (Internet)
McLaughry's Law: To make an enemy, do someone a favour. (James McLaughry 20 Feb 1975)
McNaughton's Rule: Any argument worth making within a bureaucracy must be capable of being expressed in a simple declarative sentence that is obviously true once stated. (John McNaughton 3 March 1974)
Mencken's First Law: No man ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. (H.L. Mencken 19 Sept., 1926)
Mencken's Second Law: Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed. (Prejudices, Third Series H.L. Mencken 1922)
Mencken's Law of Social Reform: Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel. (Newspaper Days:1899-1906 H.L. Mencken 1941)
Meyer's Law: If the facts don't fit the theory, discard the facts. (cited by C.L. Sulzberger in New York Times 20 Aug., 1969)
Micawber's First Law: Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery. (Mr. Wilkins Micawber in David Copperfield Charles Dickens 1850)
Micawber's Second Law: Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families. (Ibid)
Michael's Law of Advocacy: If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table. (Jerome Michael)
Midas' Law: Possession diminishes perception of value, immediately. (John Updike 3 Nov 1975)
Miller's Law: The quality of food in restaurants is in inverse proportion to the number of signed celebrity photographs on the walls. (Bryan Miller 24 March 1989)
Mitchell's Law: When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (John N. Mitchell)
Mizner's Law of Research: If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. (Wilson Mizner Rogue's Progress by John Burke 1975)
Moliere's Law: Things are only worth what you make them worth. (Les Precieuses Ridicules Jean Baptiste Poquelin, aka Moliere, 1690)
Montagu's Motto: General notions are generally wrong. (Mary Pierrepont [Lady Mary Wortley Montagu] 28 March 1710)
Montaigne's Law: Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known. (Essays Michel Eyquem de Montaigne 1580)
Morrow's Law: The candidate who takes the credit for the rain gets the blame for the drought. (Dwight W. Morrow)
Morton's Fork: Rich or poor, the government will get your money. (John Morton, principal adviser to Henry VII)
Morton's Fork is a precursor of Catch-22, Joseph Heller 1961, to characterize a paradoxical situation to which the only logical response is deemed illogical.
Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. (Captain Edward A. Murphy Jr. 1949)
First Corollary: Of the things that can't go wrong, some will.
Second Corollary: If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
Third Corollary: If two more more things can go wrong, the one that will go wrong first is the one that will cause the most damage.
Fourth Corollary: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Fifth Corollary: No matter what goes wrong, there's always someone who will say he knew it would.
Murphy's Second Law: Everything takes longer than you expect.
Corollary: Everything takes longer than it should except sex.
Murphy's Third Law: Nothing is as simple as it looks.
Murphy's Fourth Law: If you play with anything long enough, it will break.
Corollary: It will always break just when you need it the most.
Murphy's Fifth Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy's Law of Auto Repair: Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll beneath the vehicle to its exact centre.
Murphy's First Military Law: Any order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
Murphy's Second Military Law: Friendly fire isn't.
Murphy's Third Military Law: The most dangerous thing in a combat zone is an officer with a map.
Murphy's Fourth Military Law: If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
Murphy's First Law of Biology: Under any given set of environmental conditions an experimental animal will behave as it damn well pleases.
Murphy's Law of Botany: When visiting a botanical garden, the one plant that you have never seen before and admire the most is the only one that lacks an identifying label.
Murphy's Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.
Mrs. Murphy's First Law (aka The Law of Perversity): You cannot tell for certain ahead of time which side of the bread to put the butter on.
Mrs. Murphy's Second Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong while Mr. Murphy, or the man of the house, whomever he may be, is out of town.

Napolean's Law: From the sublime to the ridiculous there is only one step. (Bonaparte Napoleon 1812)
Other observations:
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.�𥕢��°ä��ºè²¡��
In war, the moral is to the physical as three to one.
In war as in love, one must meet at close quarters to get things over with.
Men are more easily governed through their vices than their virtues.
The greatest general is he who makes the fewest mistakes. (Maxims et Pensees)
Neely's Laws:
  1. If the project works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
  2. The accessibility, during recovery, of small parts which fall from workbench, varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work in progress.
  3. The nearest living relative of the football player you are criticizing is sitting directly in front of you in the football stadium. (Gerald Neely, 1974)
Nehru's Law: Even in politics, an evil action has evil consequences. That, I believe, is the law of Nature as precise as any law of physics or chemistry. (Jawaharlal Nehru, quoted in The Peter Prescription by Laurence Peter 1972)
Newton's Laws of Motion:
  1. Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line, unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it.
  2. The change of motion (acceleration) is proportional to the motive force impressed; and is made in the direction of the right line in which that force is impressed.
  3. To every action there is opposed an equal reaction: or the mutual actions of two bodies upon each other are always equal, and directed to contrary parts. (Sir Isaac Newton, Principia Mathematica 1687)
Nies' Law: The effort expended by a bureaucarcy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error. (John Nies, quoted by alan L. Otten 23 Dec., 1973)
Nixon's Law: When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal. (Richard Nixon 1970)
Norris' Law: If you know the answer, then you don't know the question. (Anne Norris 19674)
Nowlan's Deduction: Following the path of least resistance is what makes men and rivers crooked. (in 1001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Trusty Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful Corollaries, Quotable Quotes, and Rambunctious Ruminations for All Walks of Life John Peer 1979)

Ockham's Razor: Do not assume more causes for any phenomenon than are absolutely necessary to explain it. (William of Ockham 14th century A.D.)
Ohm's Law: The electric current in any circuit is directly proportional to the voltage and inversely proportional to the resistance. (Georg Simon Ohm)
O'Malley's Observation: When there is a choice of two evils, most men take both. (Keystones of Thought Austin O'Malley 1858-1932)
O'Neill's Rule: All politics is local. (Tip O'Neill 1993)
Other Rules:
  1. No contribution is too small.ï¼��å¤𡁶����ï¼匧�å°讐��塩��
  2. Avoid bunk.
  3. To be a successful public speaker, memorize poetry.
  4. Never be introduced at a sporting event; the crowd will only boo.
  5. Remember names.
  6. Tip well. (All Politics Is Local: And Other Rules of the Game 1993)
Oppenheimer's Observation: The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it. (J. Robert Oppenheimer 1951)
Orwell's Law of Language: The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink. è©𤥁¾­�¥å����½ï�æ·«è¾­�¥å����·ï��ªè¾­�¥å����¢ï���¾­�¥å���窮ã���𣂼�å­琜��¬å­«ä¸睲���(Politics and the English Language George Owell [Eric Blair] 1946)
Six Rules to improve one's writing:
  1. Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
  2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
  3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
  4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
  5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
  6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
Olser's Law: The greater the ignorance, the greater the dogmatism. (Sir William Osler 1902)
Ovid's Observation: Whether a pretty woman grants or withholds her favours, she always likes to be asked for them. (Art of Love Publius Ovidus Naso 2 B.C.)

Paige's Rules for Living:
  1. Avoid fried meats, which angry up the blood.
  2. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
  3. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
  4. Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain't restful.
  5. Avoid running at all times.
  6. Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. (How to Stay Young Leroy 'Satchel' Paige 1953)
Gilmer's Law of Political Leadership: Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's following you. (Henry Gilmer 1948)
(Babe) Paley's Law: You can never be too skinny or too rich. (Barbara 'Babe' Paley)
(William) Paley's Law: White lies always introduce others of a darker complexion. (The Principles of Moral and Political Philosophy William Paley 1785)
Papagiannis' Law: The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. (Michael Papagiannis 1992 on UFOs)
Pareto's Law (20/80 law): 20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover; 20% of the components account for 80% of the cost, etc. (Vilfredo Pareto)
Parker's Observation: Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. (Enough Rope Dorothy Parker 1927)
Parkinson's Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (Cyril Northcote Parkinson 19 Nov., 1955)
Parkinson's Second Law: Expenditure rises to meet income. (The Law and the Profits 1960)
Parkinson's Third Law: Expansion means complexity and complexity, decay; or to put it even more plainly --- the more complex, the sooner dead. (Inlaws and Outlaws 1962)
Parkinson's Fourth Law: Delay is the deadliest form of denial. (The Law of Delay 1971)
Parkinson's Law of Medical Research: Successful research attracts the bigger grant, which makes further research impossible. (25 Jan., 1962)
Parkinson's Law of Triviality: The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved. (a $10 million project may be approved in two and a half minutes, while an expenditure of $2,350 will be debated for an hour and a quarter, then deferred for decision to the next meeting pending the gathering of more information.)
Parkinson's Telephone Law: The effectiveness of a telephone conversation is in inverse proportion to the time spent on it. (12 April 1974)
Mrs. Parkinson's Law: Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available from which it can pass only to a cooler mind. (Mrs. Parkinson's Law 1968)
Pascal's Law: The greater the intellect one has, the more originality one finds in men. Ordinary persons find no differences between men. (Pensees Blaise Pascal 1670)
Other thoughts:
Cleopatra's nose, had it been shorter, the whole face of the world would have been changed.
The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of.
Evil is easy, and has infinite forms.
Pasteur's Observation: In the field of observation, chance favours only the prepared mind. (Louis Pasteur 7 Dec., 1854)
The Patel Law for Determining the Presence of an Indian Restaurant in a Strang Town: Count the number of Patels in the telephone book. Less than ten means no Indian restaurants; more than ten, you'r in luck. If you're bold enough or, if you happen to be Indian, you can call one of the ten-or-more and just ask where to eat. (A Doctor's Story of a Town and Its People in the Age of AIDs Abraham Verghese 1994)
The Paul Principle: People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle. (Paul Armer 1970)
Payn's Law: If a piece of buttered toast falls, it will land face-down. (James Payn 1884)
Peers' Law: The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem. (John Peers)
The Peter Principle: In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. (Laurence J. Peter 1969)
Other insights:
  1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
  2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached the level of their incompetence, and
  3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
Peter's Inversion: Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency.
Peter's Paradox: Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to the incompetence of their colleagues.
Peter's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
Peter's Law: The unexpected always happens.
Mrs. (Irene) Peter's Law: Today, if you are not confused, you're just not thinking clearly.
Peter's Statement of Objectives: If you don't know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else.
Pindar's Law: Custom is king over all. (5th century B.C.)
Plimpton's Small Ball Theory: The smaller the ball used in a sport, the better the book. (George Plimpton 25 Sept., 1986)
Pogo's Observation: We have met the enemy and it is us.
Powell's Rules:
  1. It ain't so bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
  2. Get mad, then get over it.
  3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that, when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
  4. It can be done!
  5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.
  6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
  7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.
  8. Check small things.
  9. Share credit.
  10. Remain calm. Be kind.
  11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
  12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
  13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. (My American Journey General Colin L. Powell 1995)
Price's Law: If everybody doesn't want it, nobody gets it. (R. Price quoted in The Peter Prescription 1972)
Prior's Precept: The end must justify the means. (Hans Carvel Matthew Prior 1700)
Publilius' Maxims: He doubly benefits the needy who gives quickly. (Maxim 6)
There are some remedies worse than the disease. (Maxim 301)
Practice is the best of all instructors. (Maxim 439)
He who is bent on doing evil can never want occasion. (Maxim 459)
It is a bad plan that admits of no modification. (Maxim 469)
A rolling stone gathers no moss. (Maxim 524)
Never promise more than you can perform. �𥕦��¥å�è¨��屸��¶è����鞱�èªÞÍ��²å���(Maxim 528)
No one should be judge in his own case. (Maxim 545)
We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have. (Maxim 559)
It is not every question that deserves an answer. (Maxim 581)
You cannot put the same shoe on every foot. (Maxim 596)
Money sets all the world in motion. (Maxim 656)
It is a very hard undertaking to seek to please everybody. (Maxim 675)
No one knows what he can do until he tries. (Maxim 786)
Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it. (Maxim 847)
Better be ignorant of a matter than half know it. (Maxim 865)
Whom Fortune wishes to destroy she first makes mad. (Maxim 911)
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. �𥕦�欲訥�¼è��鞱�èªÞÍ��䔶���(Maxim 1070)
Pym's Law: Actions speak louder than words. äº见¯¦�脲䲰��¾¯��(John Pym 1628)

Quincy's Law: Man passes away; generations are but shadows; there is nothing stable but truth. (Josiah Quincy Jr. 17 Sept., 1830)
Quintillian's Law: A liar should have a good memory. (Instituio oratoria Marcus Fabius Quintilianus 1st century A.D.)
On educating children:
Ravitch's Rule: The person who knows 'how' will always have a job. The person who knows 'why' will always be his boss. (Diane Ravitch 17 June 1985)
Rawson's First Law: As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.
First Corollary: Never loan a book, not even to your best friend, if you really want to get it back.
Second Corollary: No matter how much bookshelf space you have, it is never enough.
Rawson's Second Law: Never throw away anything unless you know what it came from.
Rawson's Third Law: A malfunctioning car will stop displaying symptoms of imminent breakdown when driven to within one quarter mile of a garage.
Mrs. Rawson's Law for Sharing Desserts: The child that divides get last pick.
Rayburn's First Law: When you get too big a majority, you're immediately in trouble. (Sam Rayburn, Speaker of the House of Representatives 1940-1961)
Rayburn's Second Law: To get along, go along.
Reagan's Rule: Never sleep with a girl if you're going to be embarrassed to be seen on the street with her the next day. (Ronald Reagan 1984)
Rench's Law: While the people who run political campaigns complain most about their shortage of money, the first thing they run out of is time ... to listen and to think. (J.F. Rench 26 March 1996)
Reston's Observation: All politics, however, are based on the indifference of the majority. (James Reston 16 Dec., 1964)
Reuther's Law: If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it just may be a duck. (Walter Reuther, a litmus test for the true nature of things: Communist, a government agent etc.)
Rice's Rule: It's not important whether you win or lose but how you play the game. ç¥堒��閗�矋�ä¸滚��¶ç©«��(Alumnus Football Grantland Rice 1930)
Rickey's Law: Luck is the residue of Design. (Branch Rickey 1950)
Riggs' Hypothesis: Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed. And, naturally, the individual's staff needs will increase as his level of incompetence increases. (Arthur J. Riggs 1971)
Riley's Law: The ripest peach is highest on the tree. (The Ripest Peach James Whitcomb Riley 1892)
Ringer's Rule: The results a person obtains are inversely proportional to the degree to which the person is intimidated. (Winning Through Intimidation Robert J. Ringer 1979)
Robinson's Law: The guy you beat out of a prime parking space is the one you have to see for a job interview. (Cal Robinson 1974)
The Rocketfeller Principle: Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing. (Nelson A. Rocketfeller 1909-1979)
Rogers' Laws: (Eleanor) Roosevelt's First Law: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. 人å��ªä¾®ï¼𣬚�å¾䔶ººä¾®ä����𣂼�å­琜��¢å�ä¸𨳍��(This Is My Story Eleanor Roosevelt 1937)
(Eleanor) Roosevelt's Second Law: When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. (19 Feb 1960)
(Teddy) Roosevelt's Law: Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. (Theodore Roosevelt 2 Sept., 1901)
Rose's Rule: Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. (Billy Rose [William Samuel Rosenberg] 26 Oct., 1957)
Rosenfield's Regret: The most delicate component will be dropped.
Rosten's First Law: Second-rate people hire third-rate people. (Leo Rosten)
Rosten's Other Laws:
  1. Thinking is harder work than hard work.
  2. The love of money is the source of an enormous amount of good; the fact that the good is a by-product of the selfish pursuit of riches has nothing to do with its indisputable value.
  3. Most people confuse complexity with profundity; an opaque prose with deep meaning. But the greatest ideas have been expressed clearly.
  4. Most men never mature; they simply grow taller. (4 April 1970)
Rousseau's Law of Laws: Good laws lead to the making of better ones; bad ones bring about worse. (The Social Contract Jean-Jacques Rousseau 1762)
Rowland's Law; The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. (A Guide to Men Hellen Rowland 1922)
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. (A Guide to Men)
When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. (Reflections of a Bachelor Girl 1909)
Rubin's Laws:
  1. (literature) All writers are neurotics, but not all neurotics are writers.
  2. (fishing) Whenever two fishing lines are contiguous, they will become continuous. (Louis D. Rubin)
Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible. (S.A. Rudin 1961)
Runyon's First Law: All life is 6 to 5 against. (A Nice Price Damon Runyon 1934)
Runyon's Second Law: The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong --- but that's the way to bet. (Ecclesiastes 9:11, More Than Somewhat 1937)
Russell's Conclusion: The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatsoever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a wide-spread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible. (Marriage and Morals Bertrand Arthur William, 3rd Earl Russell 1929)
Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.

Sagan's Standard: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. (Carl Sagan was credited by William Schopf on 8 Aug., 1996)
Saki's First Law: Women and elephants never forget an injury. (Reginald H.H. Munro [Saki] 1904)
Saki's Second Law: A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. (The Square Egg 1924)
Sandburg's Law: The customer is always right. (Good Morning America Carl Sandburg 1928)
Santayana's Law: Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (The Life of Reason George Santayana 1906)
Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
Sattler's Law: The grapefruit juice will always hit you in the eye. (Louis Sattler)
Say's Law: Supply creates its own demand. (Jean Baptiste Say 18th century)
Schiller's Dictum: Anyone taken as an individual is tolerably sensible and reasonable --- as a member of a crowd, he at once becomes a blockhead. (Friedrich von Schiller)
Schonberg's Law: Anybody who gets away with something will come back to get away with a little more. (Harold Schonberg 8 Oct., 1972)
Scott's Law: In order to win twenty-four games, you have to win eighteen. (Mike Scott 1989)
Searle's Sage Sample: The cussedness of inanimate objects is beyond understanding.
Segal's Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
Seit's Law of Higher Education: The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.
Selden's Law: Ignorance of the law is no excuse. (John Selden in Table Talk 1689)
Other wise scraps: Seneca's Standard: It is quality rather than quantity that matters. (Lucius Annaeus Seneca 65 A.D.)
Service's Law: It's later than you think. (Songs of the Sourdough Robert W. Service 1907)
Shadwell's Law: Every man loves what he is good at. (A True Widow Thomas Shadwell 1679)
Shakespeare's First Law: There's small choice in rotten apples. (The Taming of the Shrew 1594)
Shakespeare's Second Law: Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. (Twelfth Night 1600)
Shakespeare's Third Law: Brevity is the soul of wit. (Hamlet 1601)
Shakespeare's Fourth Law: All's well that ends well. (1604)
Shakespeare's Fifth Law: Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. (The Tempest 1612)
Shanahan's Law: The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present, and the productiveness of the meeting falls with the square of the number of people present. (Eileen Shanahan 1963)
Shannon's Law of Administration: What is actually happening is often less important than what appears to be happening. (William v. Shannon 2 July 1972)
Shaw's Conclusion: If all economics were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. (George Bernard Shaw)
A sample of Shaw's Maxims for Revolutionists: Shaw's Quandary: There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it. (Ibid)
Simmon's Law: The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.
Slim's Rule: Look around the table. If you don't see a sucker, get up, because you're the sucker. (Thomas Austin Preston Jr., aka Amarillo Slim, in Friendly Advice by Jon Winokur 1991)
(Adam) Smith's Observation: People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public to raise prices. (The Wealth of Nations Adam Smith 1776)
(Sydney) Smith's Secret: Digestion is the great secret of life. (Rev Sydney Smith 30 Sept 1837)
A sampling of other Smith-isms: Socrate's Law: The life which is unexamined is not worth living. (Apology Plato)
Sophocles' First Law: The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves. (Oedipus Rex Sophocles 430 B.C.)
Sophocles' Second Law: Time eases all things. (Ibid)
Sophocles' Third Law: Nobody likes the man who brings bad news. (Antigone 422 B.C.)
Senator sorghum's Laws of Politics: Spencer's Law (The Law of Unintended Consequences): Every cause produces more than one effect. (Essays on Education Herbert Spencer 1861)
Spock's Law: Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. (Baby and Child Care Benjamin Spock 1946)
de Stael's Law: To understand everything is to forgive everything. (Corinne, or Italy Madame de Stael 1807)
Stalin's Law: You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
Staple's First Law of the Universe: Evil and stupidity are randomly distributed. (Brent Staples 15 Oct., 1995)
Steinbeck's Law of Travelling: When you need towns they are very far apart. (Travels with Charley in Search of America John Steinbeck 1962)
Stengel's Laws: Sterne's Law: The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it. (The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy Laurence Sterne 1767)
Stilwell's Observation: The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of his ass. (General Joseph Stilwell)
Stolley's Law: Younger is better than older, pretty is better than ugly, TV is better than music, music is better than movies, movies is better than sports, anything is better than politics, and P.S. nothing is better than a dead celebrity. (Dick Stolley, managing editor of People 4 March 1994)
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud. (Theodore Sturgeon 1984)
Sullivan's Law: Form ever follows function. (The Tall Office Building Artistically Considered Louis Henri Sullivan 1896)
Swanson's Law: When the water reaches the upper deck, follw the rats. (Claude Swanson)
Sweet P's Rule: Nobody plays nobody for big stakes. (Sweet P [chess player rating 1800] 8 Sept., 1988)
Swift's First Law: When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by his sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. (Thoughts on Various Subjects Jonathan Swift 1706)
Swift's Law of Laws: Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through. (A Critical Essay upon teh Faculties of Mind 1707)
Swift's Maxim: Those to whom everybody allows the second place, have an undoubted title to the first. (The Tale of a Tub 1704)
Szasz's Rules:
  1. Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
  2. If you talk to God you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. (The Second Sin Thomas Szasz 1973)

Tacitus' Law: Temple's Law: No body should make love after forty, nor bee in business after fifety. (Sir William Temple, a diplomat of Charles II)
Tennyson's First Law: 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ä¸滚銁ä¹𤾸¤©�·å𧑐ä¹��ç¥堒銁ä¹擧㦛ç¶𤘪��剹��(In Memoriam Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850)
Tennyson's Second Law: In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. (Locksley Hall 1842)
Terence's Law: The law at its most rigorous is often injustice at its worse. [or 'extreme law is often extreme injustice'] (The Self-Tormentor Publius Terentius Afer 185-159 B.C.)
I am a man: nothing human is alien to me. (The Self-Tormentor)
While there's life, there's hope. (The Self-Tormentor)
Moderation in all things. (The Lady of Andros)
Nowadays flattery wins friends, truth begets hatred. å¿㰘����³ã��(The Lady of Andros)
Charity begins at home. (The Lady of Andros)
How unfair that poor people should always be adding to the wealth of the rich! (Phormio)
Fortune helps the brave. (Phormio)
I know women's ways: when you will, they won't, and when you won't, they're dying for it. (Eunuchus)
Thatcher's Law: In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. (Margaret Thatcher in The Changing Anatomy of Britain by Anthony Sampson 1983)
Thomas' Law: Out of sight, out of mind. (On the Imitation of Christ Thomas Hemerken von Kempen 1420)
Thoreau's First Law: Any man more right than his neighbours constitutes a majority of one. (The Maine Woods Henry David Thoreau 1848)
Thoreau's Second Law: In the long run men only hit what they aim at. (Economy in Walden, 1854)
Thoreau's Third Law: The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready, and it may be along time before they get off. (Ibid)
Thoreau's Ruling: Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. (11 Nov., 1854)
Thucydides' Law of Peace and War: In times of peace and prosperity cities and individuals alike follow higher standards because they are not forced into a situation where they have to do what they do not want to do. But war is a stern teacher; in drprivaing them of the power of easily satisfying their wants, it brings most people's minds down to the level of their actual circumstances. (5th century B.C.)
Thurber's Morals: (Fables for Our Time 1940) Tierny's Law: Never kibitz and play in the same place. (John Tierny 15 Oct., 1990)
Tilton's Law: Even this shall pass away. (The King's Ring Theodore Tilton 1866)
Toffler's Law: The Law of Raspberry Jam: The wider any culture is spread, the thinner it gets. (The Culture Consumers Alvin Toffler 1964)
Tolstoy's Family Law: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. (Anna Karenina Leo Tolstoy 1876)
Torquemada's Law: When you are right, you have a moral duty to impose your will upon anyone who disagrees with you. (Tomas de Torquemada, quoted by Alan L. Otten in 1877)
The Trollope Ploy: To interpret --- or willfully misinterpret --- a message in the most favourable manner to oneself. (Anthony Trollope)
Trollope's Rule: Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write. (Autobiography 1883)
Truman's First Law: The buck stops here. (Harry S. Truman 19 Dec., 1952)
Truman's Second Law: If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. é£笔�é¹¹é��µå�渴ã��(1930s)
Truman's Third Law: Nobody, not even the President of the United States, can approach too close to a skunk in skunk territory, and expect to get anything out of it except a bad smell. (1951)
Twain's First Law: In order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer Mark Twain 1876)
Twain's Second Law: To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. (Ibid)
Twain's Hidden (from Tom) Law: Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. (Ibid)
Twain's Rule for Pleasing Authors: There are 3 infallible ways of pleasing an author and the 3 form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him that you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him that you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book. No.1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart. (Pudd'nhead Wilson 1894)
Tyler's Washington Multiplier Effect: The flunky always wears the big man's shoes. If he's a White House flunky he rules by right of the president of the United States. (The Shadow Cabinet W.T. Tyler [Samuel J. Hamrick] 1984)

Udall's Law: If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. (Representative Morris K. Udall, 4 April 1975)
Ulmann's Razor: When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other. (Mitchell Ulmann, quoted by Alan L. Otten 26 Feb., 1976)
Updike's Observation: One out of 312 Americans is a bore, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. (Confessions of a Wild Bore in Assorted Prose, John Updike 1965)
Upton's Implacable Principle: Stop Look Listen. (Ralph R. Upton, notice devised for American railroad crossings, 1912)
Urquhart's Rule of Diplomacy: Don't dive into an empty pool. (UN peacekeeper Sir Brian Urquhart 1983)
Ustinov's Ukase: Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower. (Sir Peter Ustinov, quoted by Dick Cavett 10 Aug., 1990)

Valery's Law: That which has always been accpeted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false. (Paul Valery 1943)
An intelligent woman is a woman with whom one can be as stupid as one wants. (Mauvais Pensees et Autres 1941)
Vanbrugh's First Law: Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her. (The Relapse Sir John Vanbrugh 1697)
Vanbrugh's Second Law: He laughs best who laughs last. (The Country House 1706)
Van der Post's Observation: Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convicted beyond doubt that they are right. (Lost World of the Kalahart Laurens van der Post 1958)
Veblen's Law: Conspicuous consumption of valuable goods is a means of respectability to the gentlemen of leisure. (The Theory of the Leisure Class Thorstein Veblen 1899)
Vegetius' Maxim: He therefore, who desires peace, should prepare for war. (De Rei Militari Flavius Vegetius Renatus 4th century)
Vertosick's Rules for Neurosurgeons:
  1. You ain't never the same when the air hits your brain.
  2. The only minor operation is one that someone else is doing.
  3. If the patient isn't dead, you can always make him worse if your try hard enough.
  4. One look at the patient is better than a thousand phone calls from the nurse.
  5. Operating on the wrong patient or doing the wrong side of the body makes for a very bad day. (When the Air Hits Your Brain: Tales of Neurosurgery Frank T. Verstosick Jr. 1996)
Vidal's Law: It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. (Gore Vidal in Antipanegyris for Tom Driberg by G. Irvine 1976)
Virgil's Law: Fear Greeks even when they bring gifts. (Aeneid Publius Vergilius Maro)
Voltaire's Law: It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one.��¯§�㗇�縱ã�滨��¸å��� (Zadig ou la Destinee Francois Marie Arouet, aka Voltaire, 1747)

Walpole's Law: Every man has his price. (Sir Robert Walpole 1734)
Walton's First Law: That which is everybody's business is nobody's business. (The Compleat Angler Izaak Walton 1655)
Walton's Second Law: No man can lose what he never had. (Ibid)
Warhol's Law: In the future, everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes. (Andy Warhol's Exposures Andy Warhol 1968)
Warshawski's Rule: Rule number something or other --- never tell anybody anything unless you're going to get something better in return. (V.I. Warshawski in Deadlock by Sara Paretsky 1984)
Washington's Maxim: I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs that honesty is the best policy. (Farewell Address George Washington 17 Sept 1796)
Watson's Law: If you can't lick 'em, jine 'em. [If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.] (James E. Watson)
Watts' Law: Idle hands make mischief. (Divine Songs for Children Issac Watts 1720)
Webgster's Axiom: 'Tis better to be fortunate than wise. (The White Devil John Webster 1612)
Parson Weems' Law: Historical fancy is more persistent than historical fact. (Mason Locke Weems)
Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. (A.H. Weiler 17 March 1968)
(Jack) Weinberg's Credo: Don't trust anybody over thirty. (Jack Weinberg 1964)
Weinberg's Laws:
  1. Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
  2. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Wellington's Rule: My rule always was to do the business of the day in the day. ä»𠰴¤©���ä»𠰴¤©�𠾼��(Arthur Wellesley, duke of Wellington, 2 Nov 1835)
Wells' First Law: In the Country of the Blind the One-Eyed Man is King. (The Country of the Blind H.G. Wells 1904)
Wells' Second Law: Adapt or perish, now as ever, is Nature's inexorable imperative. (Mind at the End of Its Tether 1946)
Wells' Virtual Law: The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. (Bealby 1915)
Wesley's Law: Cleanliness is next to godliness. (On Dress John Wesley)
Wharton's Law: If you were forced to read the book in high school, you'll probably hate the movies, too.
White's First Rule: If a man is in health, he doesn't need to take anyone else's temperature to know where he is going. (E.B. White 29 Nov., 1947)
White's Second Rule: Never hurry and never worry! (Charlotte's Web 1952)
White's Rule for Rating Poets: All poets who, when reading from their own works, experience a choked feeling, are major. For that matter, all poets who read from their own works are major, whether they choke or not. All women poets, dead or alive, who smoke cigars are major ... All poets named Edna St. Vincent Millay are major ... A poet who, in a roomful of people, is noticeably keeping at a little distance and seeing into things is a major poet. (How to Tell a Major Poet from a Minor Poet 1938)
Whitehead's Observation: If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. (Dialogues of Alfred North Whitehead Alfred North Whitehead 1953)
Whitton's Law: Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. (Charlotte Whitton, mayor of Ottawa, 1963)
Wilcox's Law: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. (Solitude Ella Wilcox 1917)
Wilde's First Law: In this world there are two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. (Lady Windermere's Fan Oscar Wilde 1892)
Wilde's Other Laws: Wilder's Law: Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. (Wit and Wisdom of the Moviemakers Billy Wilder 1979)
Williams' Law: There is more law in the end of a policeman's nightstick than in a decision of the Supreme Court. (Alexander S. 'Clubber' Williams 1860s through 1880s)
Wilson's Law: Never murder a man who is committing suicide. (Woodrow Wilson 1916)
Duke of Windsor's Rules: Never miss an opportunity to relieve yourself; never miss a chance to rest your feet.
Wittgenstein's Law: Of that which nothing is known, nothing can be said.
Corollary: The limits of my language mean the limits of my world. (Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus Ludwig Wittgenstein )
Wolfe's Law: You Can't Go Home Again (Thomas Wolfe, 1940) because you've changed and it's changed.
Woollcott's Law: Anything good is either immoral, illegal, or fattening. (Alexander Woollcott 1972)
Wycherley's Law: Necessity [is the] mother of invention. [Mater artium necessitas] (Love in a Wood, or St. James' Park William Wycherley 1671)

Xenophanes' Law: It takes a wise man to recognize a wise man. �劐¼¯æ¨���匧��屸¦¬
(John) Yardley's Law: Pretty is what works. (John Yardley in Liftoff: The Story of America's Adventure in Space by Michael Collins 1989)
(Jonathan) Yardley's Law: No matter how many good tables are free, you will always be given the worst available.
Young's Law: Procrastination is the thief of time. (Night Thoughts Edward Young 1745)
Zahner's Law: If you play with anything long enough, it will break. (Louis Zahner)
Zeno's Law: The goal of life is living in agreement with nature. (Zeno of Cyprus 300 B.C.)
Zimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.